Heart Change

There has been a heart change going on in me lately. Since I always want to remember this time in our lives, I am going to try to put it out on paper. Our journey to Africa has been a long one. :) Praise God that His timing is always perfect though! The most amazing thing has been going on lately in my heart. One one hand, I have always been excited about going to Africa. There is an undeniable call in my heart to go and serve the people there, as well as a deep love and compassion for them. On the other hand though, it is one thing to say you are willing to go and a completely different thing to actually mean it in the depths of your heart. Since we moved out of our house a couple of months ago, there have been some hard moments for me. Just missing the house, missing living across the street from my parents, missing having a "home", missing what felt like a normal life. It is a very odd way of living when you know you are going to be moving to another country in a few months. Certain things in the past have made me pretty sad. Holidays especially were hard. Knowing they would probably be our last in the States for awhile, things like that. Just a bittersweet way of living, I guess. So, while I was very excited about going, there was still a little bit of me wanting to be attached to our lives here, that didn't want to let go. I am so thankful though, as I see the Grace of God covering that area in my life. Yesterday was the 4th of July. This is one of my absolute favorite holidays. Love everything about it. So, (even though I am embarrassed to admit it), I was a little nervous that I would be a little sad most of the day. Was I ever wrong! Yesterday was one of the best days of my life! Starting Tuesday night we have been surrounded by family and dear friends that we love and cherish, eating and cooking out, playing games and just being together. I don't think even once I though, "Poor me. Having to give all this up.". It wasn't until last night we were at some fireworks and I overheard one of my friends say to another how she was so excited that they were going to start coming back to these fireworks every year together now. And you know what? With excitement I thought about how we would be celebrating the 4th in Africa next year! That is huge for me! Now, please don't take what I am saying as I am not excited about going to Africa. It is not that at all. I am talking about the secret place in my heart, that place where only God can see, and that HE is working on it and I see it happening! It is very exciting for me. I can literally feel the change happening, and there is so much anticipation building up for us to get there, and at the same time savoring all of our moments while we are still here. It is wonderful and I feel so blessed.