2014

2014

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I have always known I wanted to adopt. Honestly, as far back as I can remember I have dreamed of adopting children from Africa. Funny though, I never thought I would be actually living in Africa when that time came.
I will never forget getting the email about Kamila. My parents were here visiting and we were playing cards at the dinner table. I got up to check my Facebook and there was an email from my friend who ran the baby home Kamila was at. I remember getting overly excited and telling Brian and my parents about it. I remember wondering what it would be like when I saw this sweet baby girls face, would it be instant love? Could it be this was our daughter?

 
This was the first picture I saw of our Kamila. I will be honest with you, when I saw it I didn't have that "feeling" I was hoping to get. I remember staring and staring as if I was waiting for this little baby on the screen to give me a sign. So Brian and I prayed and prayed and both felt God confirming in our hearts this was our little girl.

 
We watched our precious girl grow through pictures on the screen from my sweet friend who was caring for her. It was a difficult time because she was only physically an hour and a half drive from us but even so we weren't able to make that trip often. We met some of her family and then waited to hear if they "approved" of our family and us being the adoptive family. I will also never forget the moment I got the message from my friend telling me congratulations and we had another daughter. I started sobbing tears of joy. Our dream of adoption was coming true after so many years!
 
 
The day we went and picked Kamila up from the baby home nothing went right. It was a very stressful day but in the end we had our daughter and were overjoyed! When we got home though that joy turned to panic pretty quickly. Kamila started screaming and didn't stop. I had honestly never seen a baby scream as loudly or as passionately as she was. Finally after a couple of hours she fell asleep for the night. I remember staring at her as she slept so peacefully and being so nervous about how the night would go. For the next few weeks that was my life. Screaming child with a panicking Mommy trying to calm her down. I remember one day looking at Brian and with tears in  my eyes telling him I was pretty sure she hated me. I can laugh at that now, but in that moment I really felt that.
 
 
I remember talking with a  new friend who was also in the process of adopting a child in Tanzania. She told me when they first got their son he screamed all day every day as well and that one day he just stopped. Her telling me that gave me so much hope that maybe that would happen for us. A couple of my dear sisters here got together one morning with Brian and I to pray over Kamila and her past. It was an incredible time and I know the Lord used that time to bring great healing to Kamila's little heart. Gradually the crying and screaming became replaced with giggles and snuggles. It was an incredible transformation to watch unfold! God is always so faithful!
 
 
 
I have watched in amazement as this sweet little girl has accepted me as her Mommy and she has become my daughter. I could stare at her precious face all day long, every single feature to me is perfect. Our Kamila Love is beyond precious. She is loved and cherished. The older four kids absolutely adore her. Through this process I have not only fallen in love with our daughter, I have also fallen in love with the adoption process. I am blown away by what has happened in five short months. This sweet little girl we knew nothing about just a few short months ago, but cannot even imagine our lives without her now. She is fearfully and wonderfully made and God has amazing plans for her life and I am blessed to have a front row seat!
 
 
 

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